A quote
from my foundations of social justice text: “Talking about gender is the
equivalent of a fish talking about water” (Adams, 203) - meaning we are so
surrounded by it that it is very difficult to take a step back and look at
gender roles objectively. I didn’t think this was necessarily true for
everyone, but after our class discussion on gender roles on Monday, I really
think it might be. In each class, we always have people that differ on certain
topics, but because of our similar interests and career goals, we all tend to
go generally the same direction during class discussion. On Monday, I was
surprised to hear the different reactions to gender roles, and how several of
my classmates liked or supported some values that gender roles reinforce. Our class
brought my mind back to the paper I had written for the op-ed that assignment
about the man I dated with EXTREMELY traditional and conservative values. He
and I since have stopped seeing eachother but remained friend, and in a
conversation we had recently I was bellyaching that over the holidays I havent
been able to pick up as many hours as I would like and that I was a little
worried about money this month. He sighed and said (in all seriousness),
"If I was a woman as pretty as you, I would find a rich guy and marry him
- that way you can stop worrying about whether or not you're going to make rent
each month and start worrying about pursuing your passion". I was upset,
confused, and offended, and then confused about whether or not I should be offended.
Thank you for encouraging me to follow my passion? Go to hell for thinking I
can't follow my passion and make money at the same time? I don't need a husband
to be successful? Thanks for telling me I'm pretty? So many emotions came up
for me in response to this one sentence that I didn't even know where to start,
which ultimately led to me saything nothing (which made me even more upset for
allowing the cycle of sexism to continue.....)
Our class discussion also got me thinking about the privilege of gender and
fulfilling certain stereotypes. We all know that males have a certain gender
advantage, but what really struck me was the privilege of being secure in your
gender identity. Being a boyish woman, a feminine man, or questioning your
gender identity in its entirety is an experience that unfortunately in our
society today still finds to be uncomfortable, and confuses with
misunderstandings of the process. Gendering happens so young that I really feel
for the people who had to push up against the guidance of their friends and
family around their gender at very young ages.
I love the quote you begin with! It really is so true. Personally, gender norms weren't something I began to think about until I was nearing the end of my senior year of high school. I liked this post a lot!
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